Thankful for the gift of thought...

       In preparation for this holiday, I have spent a lot of time in introspection. The past year or so has held a lot of transition for me - changing role for me as my daughter went off to college and began the next phase of her life, new roles at work, changes in family dynamics in the acceptance of my mother's health, moving to another part of town, and even just the changes in myself as I get older and deal with my own health struggles. It hasn't been easy, and to be honest, lately it's really been hard. I've shed a lot of tears and at times I have been angry with God feeling that he had abandoned me along with others.  I don't think I have ever felt so alone. But I keep moving forward. "Just because you THOUGHT that way doesn't mean you have to THINK that way!" ~ KHC

      Last night at church the worship leader spoke of how people see you in contrast to either the reality of you or how you see yourself. That is so true! I think many times that people envision that your world is spinning a lot faster than it really is. My Pastor also shared that he doesn't trust processes, he trusts people - and that is me; I trust people. Ironically that also where the most disappointment comes, in trusting people.Yet even in the realization of that aspect, I love that I am that person. I love how much I enjoy people. I love how much I look forward to opportunities to fellowship and share with others. I love that I'm a romantic and still believe in love and what it will hold for me when He finds me.(can someone give him a GPS) I love how much I like the simple things in life. I love how crafty and creative I am. I love how much music moves me. In a nutshell - I love me! Yet I have also come to understand that FOR ME, there are dynamics that I need for balance. I need Me time, family/friends time, and time with a companion. The difficulty comes when those dynamics aren't in sync, such as it is now. But I do believe that it won't be that way always. I know that there are those that speak of not "telling your business" on social media, but there are times that by you being transparent, you help someone else. Somewhere along the way I think I heard that's a part of ministry.

       So today, on this Thanksgiving Day, I am thankful for the opportunity to share myself with you. I am thankful for the things that God has given to me materially, and know that for some, that would be enough. I am thankful that my daughter is doing well at school and in building her career. I am thankful that my mother is still with us today. I am thankful that my relationship has grown with my sisters and my brother and other family members. I am thankful for a new day and another chance to take a step forward and I'm excited about where that step will take me. I am blessed - I know that, and I don't take those things for granted. I pray that you and yours have a safe and happy day today!

Thinking can sometimes be hazardous...

One of my favorite pastimes is thinking.  What happened during the course of the day.  What do I want to see happen tomorrow.  Why did that person do what they did?  Why didn't they do something different? And so on...and so on...and so on....

It's exhausting...

So much so that you wear yourself out just trying to think things through.  I was having a conversation with a friend today in hopes that during the conversation I would sort out some thoughts that were swerling through my head.  During our chat, I realized that when I came to a decision point, I  convince myself, just in thought, that wasn't the right decision and start the process all over again. How many times have we missed out on something that while oh so simple, we made it insurmountable just by our thoughts?

I gotta learn how to not think so much.  It's hazardous - to my health, my sanity, and a few other things....but how? Where do you start?  What steps do you take?  How do you know how much is too much?  Hmm...I'll think about it and see what I come up with.

R&R...Get it!

Rest and Relaxation - we all crave more of it.  I know I do!  In the last few months I've taken a closer look at when and how I rest and relax.  In the examination of that, I've discovered that I really don't know how to rest which means I don't relax.

For most of us we look at the weekend as a time of relaxation, but in reality, we may cram more into those two days than all of the week.  Running errands, cleaning house, attending worship, and trying to add some fun into it wears us out by Sunday night!  Makes me think like what is said in this pic:

But think about it, what would we REALLY do with another day?  Yep - cram more stuff into it! So, knowing what we have to work with, we need to determine how to get things done smarter so that we can have more time to rest and relax - throughout the week!  In reading various things (which is one way that I rest) and trying to do a better job of resting and relaxing, I came across some great suggestions for ways to do that.

1. Stop thinking so much - Some of us spend time that we should be resting, thinking.  What didn't we finish today?  What do we have to do tomorrow?  Why didn't we get it done?  What could we have done differently?  What is going on in the world?  Why can't there be world peace?  Where in the world IS Carmen Satiago? WHy? WHo? Where? WHen?  The first step to relaxing is to turn off your brains.

2. Learn that PERFECTION DOES NOT EXIST!!! - Would stop spinning if you didn't fold your underwear in your drawer? No, it wouldn't...and you would have more time for you if recognized that it's ok for some things to be a little off kilter.  What do you want, a home or a museum?

3. Attack housework a little at a time - I began to use the 15 minute rule.  I set a timer for 15 minutes, chose one room and did as much as I could in that 15 minutes.  Don't get distracted!  Stay focused.  Put on some music if you need to.  Do that each day and before you know it - the whole house will be clean and your Saturday will all belong to you.  Oh yeah, put a load of clothes in the washing machine before you go to bed - and in the dryer the next morning before you leave for work.

4. Have some FUN! - Remember all of the things you used to do that you no longer do? Learn how to PLAY!  Is it really because you don't have time or because you don't MAKE time?  Reading.  Cooking. Crafts. Coloring. Cards.  Dominoes. Chess. Playing jacks. Monopoly. Jumping rope.  Skipping!(ok, I know I went a little too far with that one!) The point is that we don't stop playing because we get older, we get older because we stop playing!

So I've started your list. There are so many more out there.  Take those and expand on them. Spend at least 30 mins to an hour every other day doing something for yourself.  Mindless TV.  Going through one of those magazines that are stacked up.  Take a bubble bath.  Call a friend - yes CALL. Not text, not Instant Message.  Facetime or Skype is ok - the goal is to make an interpersonal CONNECTION!

Let me know what you do for R&R.  Let me know how it changes you - your perspective, your attitude, and your day.

Don't Forget to Remember!

Wow!  The things we forget in our lives!  This is the 2nd time that I've run across this blog and forgotten that I have it. Sad - I know, but life happens.  The ironic thing is that a close friend of mine has been saying for the past few months that I should write a book.  ME?  What would I say?  Who would want to read it?  "Well", she said, "At least do a blog".   I used to have one, I thought, and moved on to the next thing that life had deposited at my feet.

So here I am today, meandering across the internet, and I find this - my blog.  I am still single and I am still opinionated, but life has taught me SOOOO much in the past 2 years.

I will begin to record my thoughts on the blog again - just for me.  If someone is helped by my words, then that's a good thing - but the most important thing, is that I don't forget to be me. A woman with an opinion.

A book is always Picture Perfect!

Another reason I look forward to Friday is I get a free Nook book each week.  Just go to the Nook Blog: The NOOK Blog - Barnes & Noble Book Clubs and you can see what book is up for grabs!  Check the comments area too - there are more books listed there.

I just finished this one - Picture Perfect, and while it wasn't a freebie, I really LOVE the books by Janice Thompson so it didn't matter.  If you are a fan of contemporary romance with a Christian foundation - fun, but not preachy, then her books are for you!  Pick up a copy and enjoy!!

BTW - Janice is a Houston girl - and her books have that Southern twang to them.  Enjoy!!

Friday is for...project planning!

I look forward to Fridays - I mean I REALLY look forward to them.  Not just because it's the last day of the work week, but because I can make preparation to do some fun stuff over the weekend.  At least I try to plan one fun thing to do every weekend.  Amazingly enough, as I get older, that list of things gets shorter, and many times at the top of the list is - NOTHING.  I just want to sit...and look friendly.

But THIS weekend I'm looking forward to being crafty.  My creative juices have been flowing lately and I'm getting back to the things that bring me joy - which is making something with my hands.  Sewing was at the top of the list for the past few weeks but scrapbooking and DIY crafts are catching up.  Over the weekend I plan to finally make something to fill the wall in my bathroom that has been vacant for 9 years.  I know, it's really sad, but yes - 9 years!

I'm going to do my version of a sunburst mirror.  What you see below is one that I saw on the wall of a restaurant I visited a couple of weeks ago that kicked off the "ooh I want one of those" idea.

So tune in next week - and see the pics of the finished project - if I finish it - it IS the weekend, you know!

Happy Friday!

Paula Deen is not the face of the enemy - look in the mirror.

I've just spent the better part of the last hour responding to some FB posts about the Paula Deen situation.  Just in case you don't know, it has been reported by a former employee that Paula Deen made racial statements (the N word) and wanted to do a themed wedding where the servers would be African American/Black men in white jackets. In a deposition, Paula admitted to having used the word before. One statement said that it was when a black man came into the bank where she worked to rob it and held a gun to her head. People are upset - calling her a racist and talking about no longer supporting her work.  Ya'll make me tired...

I DO NOT like the word being used by ANYONE under ANY circumstances!! I can understand the reason behind her using it, but it doesn't negate my feelings about. YET - we are up in arms when someone White uses the word, but not when someone African American uses it? IT SHOULD BE REMOVED FROM EVERYONE'S VOCABULARY! Stop saying it's ok for some and not for others!!!!!

One person on FB stated that Paula said that in this Civil War themed wedding she " would really like is a bunch of little n-ggers to wear long-sleeve white shirts, black shorts and black bow ties. You know, in the Shirley Temple days, they used to tap dance around. Now, that would be a true Southern wedding, wouldn’t it?"  What I read in an internet article, wasn't that she admitted to making that statement, she admitted to using the word. The former employee was the one that said she made the statement. Paula said that she used the word Black in her vision of the event. But that is really not my issue - MY issue is how we get all mad about a WHITE person using the word, but we allow and even celebrate (Richard Pryor, Dave Chappelle, etc) when they use the word!! Also - this former employee - are they black or white? How long did they work there? Why were they terminated? Why all of a sudden are these things an issue with this employee? I want to know more about her. I just think there is a lot more to this story than what is being displayed by the media, who we know will ALWAYS tell the truth about everything!!  I'm just not going to judge the woman by this one situation - she has to face God for what she has done. I do not think it she was smart to say whatever she may have said, but I appreciate the fact that she was honest when asked about it. She is a 66 year old white woman who was raised in the deep South. My mother STILL uses the N word - and I repeatedly tell her how I feel about it. She has told me many times that's just what she was taught to say.  So what is our excuse?  WE, as a younger, stronger, more enlightened, more "intellectual" generation, continue to allow it to be said to us and about us by our own.

Then comes the response that I knew was out there..."but it's two different meanings"!

That's just it - it is NOT. I don't care HOW you spell it.."ger, gga, gah"- it is still negative, derogatory, and WRONG.  If you like or love me...call me by name, say my friend, my girl, my sister, even my "homie", but DO NOT call me your nigga! I never said I wasn't bothered by her using it - I don't like that she does - but I dislike it MORE that my own people use it as a term of endearment. THAT IS PURE FOOLISHNESS!

Bad Paula for using the word in the first place!  I pray you REALLY learn from this situation and begin to strip those types of behaviors from the representation of who you are. Bad former employee for using the status/name of her former employer to gain money. (If you don't pay, we will tell - what does THAT say to you?) BAD AFRICAN AMERICAN COMMUNITY FOR TAKING THIS WORD AND TRYING TO MAKE IT ACCEPTABLE. We have GOT to stop tolerating the behavior of people who look like us simply because they look like us. I'm not saying that you can influence every person in the world, but I'm pretty positive that you can influence a few around you, and if they do the same, the change will happen. We have become a culture of acceptance; and most of the things that we accept within our own community, we are ready to curse, fight, and boycott if it is done by those who are outside of our community. I do not accept it and I do not allow it (still working on Momma). I'm not your n***a, your b****, or your ho. It is not amusing.  It is not endearing.  It is NOT who I am.