A book is always Picture Perfect!

Another reason I look forward to Friday is I get a free Nook book each week.  Just go to the Nook Blog: The NOOK Blog - Barnes & Noble Book Clubs and you can see what book is up for grabs!  Check the comments area too - there are more books listed there.

I just finished this one - Picture Perfect, and while it wasn't a freebie, I really LOVE the books by Janice Thompson so it didn't matter.  If you are a fan of contemporary romance with a Christian foundation - fun, but not preachy, then her books are for you!  Pick up a copy and enjoy!!

BTW - Janice is a Houston girl - and her books have that Southern twang to them.  Enjoy!!

Friday is for...project planning!

I look forward to Fridays - I mean I REALLY look forward to them.  Not just because it's the last day of the work week, but because I can make preparation to do some fun stuff over the weekend.  At least I try to plan one fun thing to do every weekend.  Amazingly enough, as I get older, that list of things gets shorter, and many times at the top of the list is - NOTHING.  I just want to sit...and look friendly.

But THIS weekend I'm looking forward to being crafty.  My creative juices have been flowing lately and I'm getting back to the things that bring me joy - which is making something with my hands.  Sewing was at the top of the list for the past few weeks but scrapbooking and DIY crafts are catching up.  Over the weekend I plan to finally make something to fill the wall in my bathroom that has been vacant for 9 years.  I know, it's really sad, but yes - 9 years!

I'm going to do my version of a sunburst mirror.  What you see below is one that I saw on the wall of a restaurant I visited a couple of weeks ago that kicked off the "ooh I want one of those" idea.

So tune in next week - and see the pics of the finished project - if I finish it - it IS the weekend, you know!

Happy Friday!

Paula Deen is not the face of the enemy - look in the mirror.

I've just spent the better part of the last hour responding to some FB posts about the Paula Deen situation.  Just in case you don't know, it has been reported by a former employee that Paula Deen made racial statements (the N word) and wanted to do a themed wedding where the servers would be African American/Black men in white jackets. In a deposition, Paula admitted to having used the word before. One statement said that it was when a black man came into the bank where she worked to rob it and held a gun to her head. People are upset - calling her a racist and talking about no longer supporting her work.  Ya'll make me tired...

I DO NOT like the word being used by ANYONE under ANY circumstances!! I can understand the reason behind her using it, but it doesn't negate my feelings about. YET - we are up in arms when someone White uses the word, but not when someone African American uses it? IT SHOULD BE REMOVED FROM EVERYONE'S VOCABULARY! Stop saying it's ok for some and not for others!!!!!

One person on FB stated that Paula said that in this Civil War themed wedding she " would really like is a bunch of little n-ggers to wear long-sleeve white shirts, black shorts and black bow ties. You know, in the Shirley Temple days, they used to tap dance around. Now, that would be a true Southern wedding, wouldn’t it?"  What I read in an internet article, wasn't that she admitted to making that statement, she admitted to using the word. The former employee was the one that said she made the statement. Paula said that she used the word Black in her vision of the event. But that is really not my issue - MY issue is how we get all mad about a WHITE person using the word, but we allow and even celebrate (Richard Pryor, Dave Chappelle, etc) when they use the word!! Also - this former employee - are they black or white? How long did they work there? Why were they terminated? Why all of a sudden are these things an issue with this employee? I want to know more about her. I just think there is a lot more to this story than what is being displayed by the media, who we know will ALWAYS tell the truth about everything!!  I'm just not going to judge the woman by this one situation - she has to face God for what she has done. I do not think it she was smart to say whatever she may have said, but I appreciate the fact that she was honest when asked about it. She is a 66 year old white woman who was raised in the deep South. My mother STILL uses the N word - and I repeatedly tell her how I feel about it. She has told me many times that's just what she was taught to say.  So what is our excuse?  WE, as a younger, stronger, more enlightened, more "intellectual" generation, continue to allow it to be said to us and about us by our own.

Then comes the response that I knew was out there..."but it's two different meanings"!

That's just it - it is NOT. I don't care HOW you spell it.."ger, gga, gah"- it is still negative, derogatory, and WRONG.  If you like or love me...call me by name, say my friend, my girl, my sister, even my "homie", but DO NOT call me your nigga! I never said I wasn't bothered by her using it - I don't like that she does - but I dislike it MORE that my own people use it as a term of endearment. THAT IS PURE FOOLISHNESS!

Bad Paula for using the word in the first place!  I pray you REALLY learn from this situation and begin to strip those types of behaviors from the representation of who you are. Bad former employee for using the status/name of her former employer to gain money. (If you don't pay, we will tell - what does THAT say to you?) BAD AFRICAN AMERICAN COMMUNITY FOR TAKING THIS WORD AND TRYING TO MAKE IT ACCEPTABLE. We have GOT to stop tolerating the behavior of people who look like us simply because they look like us. I'm not saying that you can influence every person in the world, but I'm pretty positive that you can influence a few around you, and if they do the same, the change will happen. We have become a culture of acceptance; and most of the things that we accept within our own community, we are ready to curse, fight, and boycott if it is done by those who are outside of our community. I do not accept it and I do not allow it (still working on Momma). I'm not your n***a, your b****, or your ho. It is not amusing.  It is not endearing.  It is NOT who I am.

What we REALLY should be afraid of, is being afraid....

I had forgotten about this blog.  It wasn't that I had forgotten about thinking or that I had stopped having opinions, but I had just stopped recording them. It was wonderful to go back and read the old posts and see how far I have come - and what I stopped doing.

Follow through - do you have a difficult time with that?  Sometimes I do.  I don't intend to not complete anything - and actually maybe possibly in my mind it's already complete.(aha!)  I know that I get bored easily and like to move on to other projects - and all of the projects are creative - most involve cutting, pasting, and writing. The others involve reorganizing, making something, or making something old new again. Is that so different from what we do when making changes?  If your life is about moving forward, isn't that what you do? You cut out some things - paste some things over other things - write about it (a la Twitter or FB) - you reorganize your thoughts, your feelings, your possessions - you make something; a friend, a promise - or sometimes you make something old new again - friendship, family relationship, old flame, or just how you think about life and what your next steps will be.

My Pastor talked about moving forward on Sunday.  His BRILLIANT analogy (don't tell him I said that) was of Michael Jackson's Billy Jean video.  He shared that the director/producer had it all lined out, and ALL Michael had to do was take each step as it was directed and everything would fall into place.  The camera would record it correctly - the music would line up correctly - and most importantly, the scene would be complete and it would be a success. That's what God wants us to do - follow the path he has laid out for us and see the success.

I thought about that analogy on the way home from church.  How many times had I stopped making the steps because my MIND said it wasn't the right path to take. The results of that action? I became Frustrated.  Disappointed.  Angry.  Jealous. Hurt. Envious. Sad. Disillusioned.  - and those emotions caused me to stop progressing because I was afraid.  Afraid of failure - afraid of rejection - just plain old SCARED. Hmm, (aha) it was during THAT time that I stopped posting on the blog...wow...FEAR caused me to stop other things which caused me to stop...and be still...and not move forward.

...but just like Michael Jackson - I BEAT IT!(Thank you BW)  Ok, so you didn't accomplish all that you thought you would have by now - and your path wasn't as smooth as you thought it should. SO...WHAT! Mine wasn't...and I didn't...but I CAN say, that I really do LOVE who I have become!  I really LIKE that cute caramel complected woman that I see in the mirror! She is beautiful and talented and thoughtful and smart and creative and compassionate and loving and funny and ready for whatever God has next for her! I am EXCITED about the growth I have made! I am sorry if who I am doesn't measure up to YOUR idea, but I love you anyway, and I'm glad that YOU DON'T MAKE THE RULES!  HA! I am NOT afraid anymore! :::insert praise break:::

A coworker recently shared with me that her mother was "refined, dignified, and sophisticated" and that she had passed those traits on to her.::::side eye::: She then went on to talk about how she really didn't have friendships inside or outside the workplace. "Hmm," I thought initially, "is she trying to say that I am NONE of those things?"  That little voice of fear and insecurity that drove me to stop moving forward began to speak...BUT the new strong resilient excited about life voice piped up and said "SHUT UP".  That happened just in time to hear her say "You know, I come over here and speak to you, and you never come over to my area and speak to me."  "No", I responded, "I came over to you once - and you turned your nose up at me and didn't respond to what I was saying, so I felt it best to leave you where you were.That way, when and if you do come by, I know you want to be friendly.  See, I like people and I spend more time here at work than at home, so I like to enjoy wherever I am.  I prefer to do as the quote says and 'bloom where you are
planted'". Yes, she said, the quote by Mary Englebreit. "Actually" I corrected her, "The Bishop of Geneva, Saint Francis de Sales originally made that quote. Mary Englebreit just made it popular." I smiled as she turned and walked away....and took fear with her.

::: George Jefferson strut::: Yeah...I'm bad... :::moonwalk and leg kick:::

Extreme Makeover – Is it time for yours?

While on a cruise recently, I was in my cabin watching the show Extreme Makeover. (Yeah, I know, right?) You know how it works - the foundation of the show is based on a person or families who have a situation in their life which prevents them from being able to live in a “suitable” home. The Extreme Makeover team comes in and builds the family a new home to help their life improve. In a sense, they change the external to work to improve the internal. I wondered how many of us realize that we should each experience our own extreme makeover –but from the inside out!

I recently met a young man who is embarking on a new path in his life. He has a passion for sports and a heart for children – and is trying to combine those two. He originally was not considering starting a business, but the more he shared with me the more I could see his vision become a new business. He had been laid off and not having success in finding another job and I told him that perhaps this is why. I saw a light in his eyes when he would begin to talk about working with those kids and what he wanted to do to make an impact in their lives. I shared with him some foundational knowledge that I had as a previous business owner and a corporate administrator. He then began to talk about his image and the difficult time he is having in changing the way he dresses, speaks, and those he associates with. Not that his “associates” are the wrong ones, just on a different levels. He doesn’t want to disrespect his friends, but has a sincere desire to be a better man – both spiritually and mentally. I told him that I could see God at work in his life. I also shared with him that sometimes we have to have two different personalities – a professional side and a personal side – and there is nothing wrong with it! The key is to discover how to balance the two so that there isn’t a situation that could be “discovered” that would destroy either side. I shared with him that sometimes, it takes one individual to have the courage to be begin the change process for others to follow suite. “Don’t follow the trend”, I said to him, “set the trend”!

Its so important to recognize that who you are as a person –be it a business owner, professional, or just as an “ordinary Joe” is SO much more than what you present on the outside – its who you are inside – and ‘that’ comes shining through. Consider this statement “You can take the person out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the person” – why is that? It is because “country” is who that person is on the inside. It shines through not matter what type of clothing you wear or what type of car you drive. There is a “still small voice” that whispers to you when you know that you are at a point to elevate yourself from your current situation.

2009 was a year of change for me - marital status, financial, career – and my initial fear was how I was going to “look” to others in this new start, and as a result, I tried to reinvent myself – externally – with some positive and some negative results. As God continues to work on me, I began to understand that it was not my external but some internal changes that were in order. Not that I am a horrible person, but a few of the things that were hindering my elevation to who HE would have me to be in order to become complete in HIM were the things that I was trying to keep from happening on the inside. When I started to allow the internal to change, the external changes caused people to say “What has happened to you? You have this GLOW!”

My friend, Tony Haynes, wrote a poem called, “Live As If You Have Arrived”

Live as if…
Y ou have arrived to that place
O f revelation
U nforgettably described as destiny & destination

A lthough still on your journey to a
R ainbow pre-archived
E very sign tells you…

…To live as if you have arrived

I n the flesh to that space called Soul Salvation
N irvana for a passenger who purposefully passes…

T hrough the portal of presumption to
H ail the proclamation that
E vokes power & persuasion to the masses

D ive in wholeheartedly
R evel in your parted sea
I n a way that channels Moses once you've dived
V ersus Pharaoh and his army be
E xcursion ready
R eadily
S et to live your life as if you have arrived

S o those with trepidation
E xit from their station
A rmed with a sense of hope in overdrive
T o wander less and from this day …

As you do - so will they
Believe before they leave they have arrived


When you go through an internal makeover, you begin to live as if you have arrived. You begin to walk in your destiny and feel the power that has been in you all along. YOU ARE IN THE DRIVERS SEAT – but God has the best GPS system available! Let 2010 be the year of your Extreme Makeover!

“The Other Side of Through” - God’s Wisdom in Due Season

I recently ran into a former church member who told me that this article, which I wrote in 2002 for a church newsletter, is something that she still reads and is blessed by it. I asked her to send it to me to share it with you. I hope there is something in it that will bless you! (THANK YOU GOD, for using me to be a blessing to another!)

The Other Side Of Through - God's Wisdom in Due Season

Bought sense. That’s what my Mother always called it. It was what you gained AFTER you had experienced something. It was the lesson you carried with you from that day forward. As a Christian, it is the wisdom of God springing forth out of a difficult situation. It is where you land when you arrive on the other side of through. You know what “through” is, right? It’s when you’ve cried all night long, or you are in a situation that you have no solution to, or when you just can’t seem to pull yourself up out of that depression that you’re in and people ask you, “What is wrong?” and you can only reply “I’m just going through”. Milton Bignon has a song that reminds us “there’s a blessing on the other side of through.”

I recently was reflecting on the number of “throughs” that I have survived and also in the deliverance received in the series of messages by Pastor Ogletree on “It’s My Time”. Is it really my time, I asked myself? Is it my season? In arriving on the other side of my latest “through”, God revealed to me the essence of what “your time and season” really is.

The four seasons or nature’s cycle are all something that we are familiar with, and each season takes approximately 3 months to complete itself. So when we hear the words “it’s your season or it’s your time”, we immediately think that our prayers will be answered instantaneously, or at least by the end of the next season. We begin to rejoice! In three months, everything will be alright! But wait….we are still on God’s time, not our time, and the amount of time that is necessary for us to complete our season or our cycle is completely dependent upon where we are in our walk with God. There are different elements of your season just as there are different elements of each season of nature. Recognizing that you are in need of God’s guidance in your life is one element. Growing in your knowledge of the word is another element. Recognizing that Momma’s relationship with God is not yours is another element. Examining where you are in your personal relationships and removing the toxic people from your surroundings is another element. A few weeks ago someone emailed me a list of statements that I sat down and compared it to the bits of wisdom that God has given to me in arriving at the other side of through. I will share some of these with you.

1. “When you want something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done”. A college degree was something that I never thought I would achieve. There was always an “if only” standing between the degree and myself. One day, I decided that I would find a program that would allow me to work, be a good mother, and obtain my degree. I didn’t know how I would pay for it or even if I would qualify for financial aid. That was in October of 1999. I began at LeTourneau University in January of 2000 and I will graduate this December with a degree in Business Management. Never say never.

2. “What you are willing to move away from determines what God will bring to you.” Bishop McLaughlin shared with us on Sunday about running to meet our giants. My giant is insecurity. I stand witness to you today that every time I face that insecurity head on, God allows me to achieve my goal. I always felt that I was too tall, too large, too dark, hair too short, etc. to do anything that was associated with “beauty”. Last year, I faced that giant of insecurity and entered the Miss American Achievement pageant. I won the city title, state title, and ultimately became first runner up for the national title. I moved away from fear, and God brought me accomplishment.

3. “God never consults your past to determine your future.” There are things in my past that I am not proud of, just as there are in yours. If I continued to keep my head down because of the things that I had not been able to do in the past, I wouldn’t have seen the doors and windows opening to me for the new improved and exciting blessings that God has lay before me now and in the future. This too shall pass - let it go. God has prepared us and is preparing us for exactly where we need to be in his kingdom, and he knows what he has brought us through to get there.

4. “The only difference between your present and your future is your wisdom.” My personal relationships have left a lot to be desired, and as a result, I remain a single woman – but I tell you, I would rather wait for the BEST man that God is preparing for me than settle for the GOOD man that I think I need. Stand still and know that with God ALL things are possible.

We all make mistakes, and will continue to do so. Just remember that the joy is in knowing that with each mistake, there is wisdom to be gained and a step to be made. With each step you get closer to the desires of your heart and the riches that God has prepared just for you. Don’t be discouraged by the storms that come your way, just know that ‘through” is something that we all experience. You have either been through, are going through, or are about to go through – but know that there is a blessing, and added wisdom in the elements of your season, on the other side of through.

THEN AND NOW….

This was written 7 years ago, and yes, I still go through, and I still reflect on these aspects of what God is trying to show me as a result of whatever it is I am going through. I did get my Bachelor's degree; I also completed my Master's degree in Education in 2006 and am working on my PhD. I got married to a man that I thought was the man for me – he was a GOOD man, but not the BEST man that God has for me - and now I am divorced. I continue to strive for the prize that is awaiting me at the end of each lesson. I continue to examine who and what is in my life and whether or not it should remain there, and I tell you, EVERY TIME that I REMOVE some garbage from my life GOD SHOWERS ME WITH GOODNESS!! I am not as insecure as I used to be. Do I question things – yes, sometimes, but don’t get it twisted, I am a FABULOUSLY FIERCE DIVINE DIVA! I am a BEAUTIFUL woman with a huge heart and a loving spirit – and NOTHING you do will take that away from me! It IS who God created me to be – and the FAKE in you cannot remove the REAL in me! (Sorry, I had a moment..LOL!)

Now with these thoughts in mind, WHY LAWD, WHY, wouldn’t you look FORWARD to the OTHER SIDE of THROUGH?!?!

No More Disclaimers...

A friend of mine who read my “Lies like a Rug” post called me up and said that I shouldn’t have posted the disclaimer. She said that my words stood on their own merit, and that I had initially stated that they were my “personal observations, opinions, and sometimes random incoherent rants” so no need to do that.

That started me to thinking – (yes, I know how dangerous that is, but I can’t help myself.) I wondered, WHY LAWD WHY, it is that so many of us will give a disclaimer to something that we think, do, or feel? Hmmm…

Disclaimer is defined as “the act of disclaiming; the renouncing, repudiating, or denying of a claim. a statement, document, or assertion that disclaims responsibility, affiliation, etc.;” Upon consideration of that definition, I would say that most of the time, we do not want to renounce or deny what we have stated, but more so to further explain our rationale for our statements OR actions. In pondering this further, I considered that we could use some alternative words or phrases:

1. Cause – I said what I said CAUSE that is what I wanted to say!

2. Reason – If folk wouldn’t act the way they act, then I wouldn’t have REASON to act like I act!

3. Delimitating factors – We won’t even go there….

4. Alibi – Only necessary in situations that could ultimately end up in facing parents, spouses, significant others, the police, or on Judge Mathis!

5. “See what had happened was….” - You already know that what will follow that phrase is a lie added to the lie that started the conversation in the FIRST PLACE!


Legally, disclaimers keep a lot of companies off of the hot seat, but in interpersonal relationships – it’s just best to choose something a little different – now you have a few more options! Thanks my friend!