“The Other Side of Through” - God’s Wisdom in Due Season

I recently ran into a former church member who told me that this article, which I wrote in 2002 for a church newsletter, is something that she still reads and is blessed by it. I asked her to send it to me to share it with you. I hope there is something in it that will bless you! (THANK YOU GOD, for using me to be a blessing to another!)

The Other Side Of Through - God's Wisdom in Due Season

Bought sense. That’s what my Mother always called it. It was what you gained AFTER you had experienced something. It was the lesson you carried with you from that day forward. As a Christian, it is the wisdom of God springing forth out of a difficult situation. It is where you land when you arrive on the other side of through. You know what “through” is, right? It’s when you’ve cried all night long, or you are in a situation that you have no solution to, or when you just can’t seem to pull yourself up out of that depression that you’re in and people ask you, “What is wrong?” and you can only reply “I’m just going through”. Milton Bignon has a song that reminds us “there’s a blessing on the other side of through.”

I recently was reflecting on the number of “throughs” that I have survived and also in the deliverance received in the series of messages by Pastor Ogletree on “It’s My Time”. Is it really my time, I asked myself? Is it my season? In arriving on the other side of my latest “through”, God revealed to me the essence of what “your time and season” really is.

The four seasons or nature’s cycle are all something that we are familiar with, and each season takes approximately 3 months to complete itself. So when we hear the words “it’s your season or it’s your time”, we immediately think that our prayers will be answered instantaneously, or at least by the end of the next season. We begin to rejoice! In three months, everything will be alright! But wait….we are still on God’s time, not our time, and the amount of time that is necessary for us to complete our season or our cycle is completely dependent upon where we are in our walk with God. There are different elements of your season just as there are different elements of each season of nature. Recognizing that you are in need of God’s guidance in your life is one element. Growing in your knowledge of the word is another element. Recognizing that Momma’s relationship with God is not yours is another element. Examining where you are in your personal relationships and removing the toxic people from your surroundings is another element. A few weeks ago someone emailed me a list of statements that I sat down and compared it to the bits of wisdom that God has given to me in arriving at the other side of through. I will share some of these with you.

1. “When you want something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done”. A college degree was something that I never thought I would achieve. There was always an “if only” standing between the degree and myself. One day, I decided that I would find a program that would allow me to work, be a good mother, and obtain my degree. I didn’t know how I would pay for it or even if I would qualify for financial aid. That was in October of 1999. I began at LeTourneau University in January of 2000 and I will graduate this December with a degree in Business Management. Never say never.

2. “What you are willing to move away from determines what God will bring to you.” Bishop McLaughlin shared with us on Sunday about running to meet our giants. My giant is insecurity. I stand witness to you today that every time I face that insecurity head on, God allows me to achieve my goal. I always felt that I was too tall, too large, too dark, hair too short, etc. to do anything that was associated with “beauty”. Last year, I faced that giant of insecurity and entered the Miss American Achievement pageant. I won the city title, state title, and ultimately became first runner up for the national title. I moved away from fear, and God brought me accomplishment.

3. “God never consults your past to determine your future.” There are things in my past that I am not proud of, just as there are in yours. If I continued to keep my head down because of the things that I had not been able to do in the past, I wouldn’t have seen the doors and windows opening to me for the new improved and exciting blessings that God has lay before me now and in the future. This too shall pass - let it go. God has prepared us and is preparing us for exactly where we need to be in his kingdom, and he knows what he has brought us through to get there.

4. “The only difference between your present and your future is your wisdom.” My personal relationships have left a lot to be desired, and as a result, I remain a single woman – but I tell you, I would rather wait for the BEST man that God is preparing for me than settle for the GOOD man that I think I need. Stand still and know that with God ALL things are possible.

We all make mistakes, and will continue to do so. Just remember that the joy is in knowing that with each mistake, there is wisdom to be gained and a step to be made. With each step you get closer to the desires of your heart and the riches that God has prepared just for you. Don’t be discouraged by the storms that come your way, just know that ‘through” is something that we all experience. You have either been through, are going through, or are about to go through – but know that there is a blessing, and added wisdom in the elements of your season, on the other side of through.

THEN AND NOW….

This was written 7 years ago, and yes, I still go through, and I still reflect on these aspects of what God is trying to show me as a result of whatever it is I am going through. I did get my Bachelor's degree; I also completed my Master's degree in Education in 2006 and am working on my PhD. I got married to a man that I thought was the man for me – he was a GOOD man, but not the BEST man that God has for me - and now I am divorced. I continue to strive for the prize that is awaiting me at the end of each lesson. I continue to examine who and what is in my life and whether or not it should remain there, and I tell you, EVERY TIME that I REMOVE some garbage from my life GOD SHOWERS ME WITH GOODNESS!! I am not as insecure as I used to be. Do I question things – yes, sometimes, but don’t get it twisted, I am a FABULOUSLY FIERCE DIVINE DIVA! I am a BEAUTIFUL woman with a huge heart and a loving spirit – and NOTHING you do will take that away from me! It IS who God created me to be – and the FAKE in you cannot remove the REAL in me! (Sorry, I had a moment..LOL!)

Now with these thoughts in mind, WHY LAWD, WHY, wouldn’t you look FORWARD to the OTHER SIDE of THROUGH?!?!

An Open Letter to Tiger Woods from Pastor Kirbyjon Caldwell

From Roberta: For many years, Pastor Kirbyjon Caldwell has been a man that I have looked to for guidance and inspiration, and he never failed to give me a word from God. During my years as a member of Windsor Village United Methodist Church, I never felt lost in the crowd as some say they do in a large church, and knew that if needed, I could call him personally. It was because of distance that I made the decision to move my membership. His book, The Gospel of Good Success, was a part of my decision to go back to school to complete my Bachelors degree – and now I am in pursuit of a PhD after completing my Master’s degree three years ago. I received this message today and wanted to share it with you. It not only applies to the Tiger Woods situation, but offers some words of wisdom to us all. Thank you Pastor Caldwell!


From Pastor Kirbyjon Caldwell:

Despite everything that’s going on in the world, the press has been fixated on Tiger Woods. I have written an open letter to Tiger, offering him some advice. Tiger’s decision to have alleged affair(s) was wrong but there are several lessons to be learned from his actions as well as what has happened in the days after the incident at his home. I hope this advice to Tiger also ministers to you if you’re ever, and I pray you’re not, in a situation where you need to be redeemed.

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Dear Tiger,

Blessings upon you and yours!

I have admired your extraordinarily unparalleled golf skills since you appeared on the Johnny Carson show with your dad over 20 years ago. I also salute the countless hours of preparation and practice you have invested in your professional career. Your relentless pursuit of perfection as a professional golfer inspires thousands of athletes to take games to the next level. Now you have an opportunity to take your personal game to the next level.

A lot of folk are offering you advice right now. The advice you receive and subsequently act upon will directly impact your inner peace and outer productivity for years to come. As one who has observed many comebacks, know that I am praying for you and offer you the following:

1) Continue to protect your home. Do what you can to regain your wife’s trust and happiness. Reports suggest you and your wife are in counseling. That’s a great step, keep seeking the professional coaching and counseling you and yours need so you can emerge stronger and wiser. Keep your family happy and whole, not hurt and wounded. Use these days as an opportunity to recalibrate your internal compass so you can remain pointed in the right direction.

2) Make a statement to the public in person. Charles Barkley is right when he says you need to say something. President Clinton made a statement and most Americans interpreted his words as a falsification of the facts. Some scholars believe he even lied under oath, yet, he has moved on and so has the American sentiment. Frankly, had you spoken publicly last Sunday, the news cycle would be totally different today.

3) Get off the press’ back. If you want them to give you privacy, then stop complaining about their coverage of you. If you want privacy, then talk publicly once and the intense media focus will shift to the next issue de jour. (Most of them anyway.) Take a page from David Letterman’s book of “How to Handle the Press 101.” Letterman’s sexual actions were, arguably, illegal. Yet, he confessed with out complaining about the press and everyone has moved on. Sometimes, you have to face folk head on before you can move on. The first paragraph of your press statement was great. The rest of it simply poured kerosene on the very fire you were trying to extinguish. Confess; don’t complain.

4) Play the hand you’ve been dealt. Your notoriety is what it is. There is no need to wish differently. You are an icon. You have made more money off the course than on the course. The same dynamics that helped make you wealthy now “demand” you deal with the reality of your stardom, no matter how painful it is or private it should be. I agree with you that it is a private matter. Unfortunately, your dealt hand requires you to offer a public message so you can proceed with your private matters. You have to play your hand. Surrogates will not suffice.

5) Get a Nathan. Every David needs a Nathan. In the Old Testament of the Bible, King David messed up sexually. Nathan, a member of the community, was there to give him Godly advice. But Nathan also held David accountable for his actions. As a result, David confessed and eventually went on to a successful future. You can do likewise. Identify two or three folk in your life who will tell you the truth about yourself at all times, particularly when you don’t want to hear it. In fact, “check in” with them regularly so your path remains clear of self-destructive debris. A good reliable “Nathan” is priceless. Incidentally, the more fame and fortune you accumulate, the more you need a good Nathan!

6) Stay focused. While you are processing this episode of your life, stay focused on the values you want your children to personify as adolescents and adults and on the values you want your wife to personify as your spouse. Once you sufficiently process all of what’s happened, get back on the tour and kick butt “new and improved Tiger-style!”

Pastor Kirbyjon Caldwell
Sr. Pastor, Windsor Village United Methodist Church