Thankful for the gift of thought...

       In preparation for this holiday, I have spent a lot of time in introspection. The past year or so has held a lot of transition for me - changing role for me as my daughter went off to college and began the next phase of her life, new roles at work, changes in family dynamics in the acceptance of my mother's health, moving to another part of town, and even just the changes in myself as I get older and deal with my own health struggles. It hasn't been easy, and to be honest, lately it's really been hard. I've shed a lot of tears and at times I have been angry with God feeling that he had abandoned me along with others.  I don't think I have ever felt so alone. But I keep moving forward. "Just because you THOUGHT that way doesn't mean you have to THINK that way!" ~ KHC

      Last night at church the worship leader spoke of how people see you in contrast to either the reality of you or how you see yourself. That is so true! I think many times that people envision that your world is spinning a lot faster than it really is. My Pastor also shared that he doesn't trust processes, he trusts people - and that is me; I trust people. Ironically that also where the most disappointment comes, in trusting people.Yet even in the realization of that aspect, I love that I am that person. I love how much I enjoy people. I love how much I look forward to opportunities to fellowship and share with others. I love that I'm a romantic and still believe in love and what it will hold for me when He finds me.(can someone give him a GPS) I love how much I like the simple things in life. I love how crafty and creative I am. I love how much music moves me. In a nutshell - I love me! Yet I have also come to understand that FOR ME, there are dynamics that I need for balance. I need Me time, family/friends time, and time with a companion. The difficulty comes when those dynamics aren't in sync, such as it is now. But I do believe that it won't be that way always. I know that there are those that speak of not "telling your business" on social media, but there are times that by you being transparent, you help someone else. Somewhere along the way I think I heard that's a part of ministry.

       So today, on this Thanksgiving Day, I am thankful for the opportunity to share myself with you. I am thankful for the things that God has given to me materially, and know that for some, that would be enough. I am thankful that my daughter is doing well at school and in building her career. I am thankful that my mother is still with us today. I am thankful that my relationship has grown with my sisters and my brother and other family members. I am thankful for a new day and another chance to take a step forward and I'm excited about where that step will take me. I am blessed - I know that, and I don't take those things for granted. I pray that you and yours have a safe and happy day today!

Thinking can sometimes be hazardous...

One of my favorite pastimes is thinking.  What happened during the course of the day.  What do I want to see happen tomorrow.  Why did that person do what they did?  Why didn't they do something different? And so on...and so on...and so on....

It's exhausting...

So much so that you wear yourself out just trying to think things through.  I was having a conversation with a friend today in hopes that during the conversation I would sort out some thoughts that were swerling through my head.  During our chat, I realized that when I came to a decision point, I  convince myself, just in thought, that wasn't the right decision and start the process all over again. How many times have we missed out on something that while oh so simple, we made it insurmountable just by our thoughts?

I gotta learn how to not think so much.  It's hazardous - to my health, my sanity, and a few other things....but how? Where do you start?  What steps do you take?  How do you know how much is too much?  Hmm...I'll think about it and see what I come up with.

R&R...Get it!

Rest and Relaxation - we all crave more of it.  I know I do!  In the last few months I've taken a closer look at when and how I rest and relax.  In the examination of that, I've discovered that I really don't know how to rest which means I don't relax.

For most of us we look at the weekend as a time of relaxation, but in reality, we may cram more into those two days than all of the week.  Running errands, cleaning house, attending worship, and trying to add some fun into it wears us out by Sunday night!  Makes me think like what is said in this pic:

But think about it, what would we REALLY do with another day?  Yep - cram more stuff into it! So, knowing what we have to work with, we need to determine how to get things done smarter so that we can have more time to rest and relax - throughout the week!  In reading various things (which is one way that I rest) and trying to do a better job of resting and relaxing, I came across some great suggestions for ways to do that.

1. Stop thinking so much - Some of us spend time that we should be resting, thinking.  What didn't we finish today?  What do we have to do tomorrow?  Why didn't we get it done?  What could we have done differently?  What is going on in the world?  Why can't there be world peace?  Where in the world IS Carmen Satiago? WHy? WHo? Where? WHen?  The first step to relaxing is to turn off your brains.

2. Learn that PERFECTION DOES NOT EXIST!!! - Would stop spinning if you didn't fold your underwear in your drawer? No, it wouldn't...and you would have more time for you if recognized that it's ok for some things to be a little off kilter.  What do you want, a home or a museum?

3. Attack housework a little at a time - I began to use the 15 minute rule.  I set a timer for 15 minutes, chose one room and did as much as I could in that 15 minutes.  Don't get distracted!  Stay focused.  Put on some music if you need to.  Do that each day and before you know it - the whole house will be clean and your Saturday will all belong to you.  Oh yeah, put a load of clothes in the washing machine before you go to bed - and in the dryer the next morning before you leave for work.

4. Have some FUN! - Remember all of the things you used to do that you no longer do? Learn how to PLAY!  Is it really because you don't have time or because you don't MAKE time?  Reading.  Cooking. Crafts. Coloring. Cards.  Dominoes. Chess. Playing jacks. Monopoly. Jumping rope.  Skipping!(ok, I know I went a little too far with that one!) The point is that we don't stop playing because we get older, we get older because we stop playing!

So I've started your list. There are so many more out there.  Take those and expand on them. Spend at least 30 mins to an hour every other day doing something for yourself.  Mindless TV.  Going through one of those magazines that are stacked up.  Take a bubble bath.  Call a friend - yes CALL. Not text, not Instant Message.  Facetime or Skype is ok - the goal is to make an interpersonal CONNECTION!

Let me know what you do for R&R.  Let me know how it changes you - your perspective, your attitude, and your day.

Don't Forget to Remember!

Wow!  The things we forget in our lives!  This is the 2nd time that I've run across this blog and forgotten that I have it. Sad - I know, but life happens.  The ironic thing is that a close friend of mine has been saying for the past few months that I should write a book.  ME?  What would I say?  Who would want to read it?  "Well", she said, "At least do a blog".   I used to have one, I thought, and moved on to the next thing that life had deposited at my feet.

So here I am today, meandering across the internet, and I find this - my blog.  I am still single and I am still opinionated, but life has taught me SOOOO much in the past 2 years.

I will begin to record my thoughts on the blog again - just for me.  If someone is helped by my words, then that's a good thing - but the most important thing, is that I don't forget to be me. A woman with an opinion.